


This Christmas

by HaloHalo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaloHalo/pseuds/HaloHalo
Summary: This Christmas, Hongjoong seeks to get over the heartbreak he experienced the last time he joined his circle of friends for a Christmas dinner.
Relationships: Jung Wooyoung/Kim Hongjoong, Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	This Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Hongjoong's cover of Last Christmas.

Christmas Eve was well known to be a holiday for couples. Yet every year, Hongjoong was single. Usually he kept himself too busy with work to pout about it. Amongst his friend group he was known as the workaholic. On the surface, he pretended not to care. But there were a few select days out of the year that even he didn’t want to spend alone. 

He wouldn’t actually be alone tonight. Soon, he would stomp through days old snow to have dinner with friends. Almost all of his friends were partnered. They showed off their sickeningly cute relationships in sns posts that he watched with a bittersweet longing in his heart. Though he rarely showed it, he was a hopeless romantic. At 23, he’d yet to make things last long enough with anyone to call them his boyfriend. So he was left to fill his craving for affection in bars and on apps, with one night stands that left him deeply unsatisfied.

Last Christmas, he’d thought that he’d finally found someone. Not just someone, but the guy of his dreams. He had crushed on Yeosang from afar for months, knowing him only through the sns posts of their mutual friend Chanmi. That had been his first mistake. People weren’t always what they appeared to be. The dazzlingly handsome man with the deep voice and dry wit had broken his heart. That had been his second mistake, pinning his affections on someone who didn’t really want him. 

They’d met at Christmas Eve dinner and, maybe it was the wine and the firelight and the fresh snow, but Yeosang’s subtle flirtations had seemed so charming. Though he wasn’t usually one to rush into things, the atmosphere had seemed so romantic. It had been a tough year, full of work and stress. At the end of it all, he’d just wanted to be swept off his feet. 

So he’d invited Yeosang home, into his bed and into his heart. They’d spent that night and the following one too, wrapped in a cocoon of tender affection. They’d kissed and touched and explored each other’s bodies from head to toe. They’d talked about their lives, their failings and their dreams. Hongjoong had felt hopeful, that at last, he’d met a man he could envision a future with. What a fool he’d been to think that spending two sex drenched nights together was the foundation for a passionate, romantic relationship. He’d given his heart and then saw it cruelly tossed away.

On the morning of December 26th, Yeosang had told him that it was all over. He was straight. He didn’t date men. He couldn’t see Hongjoong again. Hongjoong had just sat in bed, half covered with a sheet, hair in disarray, mouth agape in utter disbelief, as Yeosang walked out the door. In an instant, everything he’d felt, all the fantasies that had begun building inside him turned to ashes in the wind. He had been such a fool. They’d never even exchanged numbers. 

So this year, he’d save himself the tears and only give his heart to someone special. 

********

Hongjoong was usually the last person to arrive. Though he lived the closest, a brisk eight minute walk away, he was in no hurry to join the chorus of happy couples. He knocked and the door quickly opened to reveal the smiling face of his friend Seonghwa.

They’d met in their first year of university, hanging out at the lgbtq+ centre, and quickly became known as the odd couple because they were opposites in so many ways. Everyone seemed to expect them to date, but they never did (aside from exchanging a few awkward blowjobs when they were both very horny and new to the whole being out thing). These days Seonghwa lived with Chanmi, another close friend from university. The three of them had been a unit at all the best parties. Chanmi had probably squeezed his ass more than all the guys he’d even been with. But after graduation, they both found boyfriends and Hongjoong started to feel like a fifth wheel. 

“Hongjoong-ah!” Seonghwa exclaimed, leaning in for a hug. 

“Hongjoong!” Chanmi came tottering over on a pair of sky high silver heels (indoor only shoes, of course). She was dressed in a short, ice blue, slip of a dress and Hongjoong marvelled at the fact that she didn’t appear to be cold. 

“You look amazing,” he said. 

“So do you,” Chanmi replied, appraising his outfit. 

He wore black boots splashed with paint, black pants with the perfect fit, a white sweater with plaid trim (a birthday gift from Seonghwa and his boyfriend San), and a pair of wire-frame glasses with a beret. Rather than sexy or chic, it had been his goal to look creative.

“A little sexy,” she added, running a long silver bejeweled nail down the patch of chest exposed by the v neck of his sweater. “I like it.” 

Okay, well maybe he kept it a little sexy. Just in case. 

“I like these nails,” Hongjoong replied, holding her hand and turning it to watch them sparkle in the light. His own nails were painted black, like his heart. 

“Hey handsome,” Seonghwa said, a smug smile on his face, as he stepped closer, pressing himself into Hongjoong and pointing towards the top of the door frame. 

Hongjoong looked up to see a mistletoe trap hanging above their heads. 

“Nooo!” He tried to duck aside, but it was too late. Seonghwa and Chanmi were on either side of him, planting firm kisses on his cheeks. 

“Aish!” Hongjoong whined. “Now I’m going to have lipstick on my face.” 

“Absolutely not,” Chanmi replied, “I am smudge proof.” 

“Not you,” Hongjoong scowled, “him.” He jerked his thumb in Seonghwa’s direction. 

“I don’t wear lipstick!” Seonghwa insisted.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. “Tinted lip balm, whatever, that stuff leaves traces.” 

“Come say hello to everyone,” Chanmi said, leading him into the living room. 

Hongjoong openly admired the apartment, immaculately clean and decorated in chic wintry tones of silver and blue, as he made a round of greetings. Yunho and Mingi were there. Another detestable couple, so in love it made him want to puke. San and Hyunwoo, the better halves of his best friends Seonghwa and Chanmi, greeted him warmly. He said hello to Jongho, who didn’t care for dating or physical affection, and was always accompanied by his best platonic friend Chaeyeon. Then he saw him. 

Yeosang. What the fuck was he doing here? And looking so good, thwarting the Christmas spirit in all black. His sweater looked like cashmere, soft and touchable. Hongjoong had seen him pop up in Chanmi’s sns posts from time to time. They were co-workers and friends, so that was to be expected. But he wasn’t a part of this friend circle. Especially not after what had happened between them last Christmas. Chanmi knew about that, so why would she invite him? It took Hongjoong a moment to even register that Yeosang wasn’t alone. Sitting at his side was a European looking girl with delicate pointy features, thin mouse brown hair, and an ugly tartan dress.

Hongjoong gave them a stiff wave and a fake smile before turning away in disgust. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you he would be here,” Seonghwa murmured, so as not to be overheard. “I didn’t know until the last minute that Chanmi invited him again.”

“Old news,” Hongjoong shrugged. “I’m not bothered.”

Seonghwa gave him a soft look that said he knew otherwise and slid an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get you a drink.”

Over a delicious pear and champagne cocktail (with an added shot of vodka), he learned that he white girl was Megan. She was an English teacher from England, with a semi-popular video account where she tried out Asian makeup and skincare trends, and very little knowledge of Korean. But! She was studying, she claimed in a sentence straight from a beginner’s textbook. 

Though Hongjoong was known as the best English speaker amongst his friends, he made no attempt to include her by speaking her language. She was in his country, after all, and there was only one way to learn. He almost felt bad for her, sitting there in that hideous dress, sipping a cider, watching conversations that didn’t include her. But then he recalled the chemistry he and Yeosang shared, a year ago on this very night, and a wave of disappointment washed over him. Yeosang shared no chemistry with this girl. They could barely hold a conversation. Yet she was the one there with him. This was what he wanted over the two sensual nights he’d spent with Hongjoong? 

“Hey, are you okay?” San asked, wandering over to join him and Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong shot Seonghwa a hard look. “Does everybody know?”

“No! Not everybody. But you know I talk to San about things.” 

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Ancient history. I’m fine.”

“I know,” San said, a soft dimpled smile on his face. “It’s just that you’re such a great guy who deserves to be with someone special. I want to see you happy.” 

Hongjoong returned his smile, reluctantly. “Like you two?” 

Seonghwa and San exchanged affectionate glances.

“Listen, I’m fine with being single,” Hongjoong said. He felt a pang of bitterness. It wasn’t totally true. He wanted to be part of a happy couple too. But he would never admit that.

“Okay,” Seonghwa replied, squeezing Hongjoong’s shoulder. 

“But I want to introduce you to someone, a friend of mine,” San added, “he should be here any minute.” 

“What?” Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you set me up on Christmas Eve?”

The doorbell chimed. 

“Surprise!” San smiled. 

San’s friend was Wooyoung. Hongjoong vaguely recalled his name as San’s friend who had recently returned from enlistment. He was around Hongjoong’s height, with a cocky smile and an infectious laugh. His thick thighs spelled trouble. He was hot as hell and he knew it. Hongjong was definitely going to de-friend Sanhwa for doing this to him. 

They introduced him to the room, leaving Hongjoong for last. When he and Wooyoung exchanged greetings, there was a spark in the guy’s eyes that said he liked what he saw. But Hongjoong maintained his composure, giving nothing away. 

“Don’t be mad. Are you mad?” San whispered in Hongjoong’s ear, as soon as Seonghwa took Wooyoung away to get a drink. 

“I’m not mad,” Hongjoong replied.

“You’re mad. I can tell,” San insisted.

“I’m not mad,” Hongjoong repeated. “I just think you should have told me you were setting something up.”

“I know, but then you might not have agreed and he really wanted to meet you.”

Hongjoong arched an eyebrow. “He did?”

“Yeah, he saw you on a few of my stories and asked about you.”

“He did?” Hongjoong’s voice was skeptical. “You better not be gassing me up.”

“I’m not!” San laughed. “I swear.” 

Hongjoong watched as Wooyoung and Seonghwa headed back in their direction, with two drinks in their hands. 

“Besides,” San whispered into Hongjoong’s ear, “he likes bossy guys. And that’s you.”

“I’m unfollowing you,” Hongjoong whispered back. “I don’t know you.”

“Just give him a chance. He’s a really sweet guy, family oriented. And he gives great head.”

“You know this from experience?” 

“You ask that like my boyfriend hasn’t sucked your dick.” 

“I meant the family part. You’ve met his family?”

“Oh. Yeah, they’re great. Loveable, the whole bunch and totally accepting.” 

“Pear champagne cocktail with a splash of vodka,” Wooyoung offered one of the drinks in his hands to Hongjoong. 

“Just a splash?” Hongjoong inquired, testing whether Wooyoung would ascertain whether a splash was too little or just enough. 

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” Wooyoung replied with a bright smile and a boyish laugh. 

“Whatever I want?” Hongjoong asked, tongue poking at the corner of his lips. “Good answer.” 

Seonghwa tossed him a look that said he saw exactly where this was going and steered San away over to a table dotted with cookies. He was right, of course. Hongjoong couldn’t help himself. He had to concede that Wooyoung was fairly attractive. Okay, gorgeous. And most importantly out. 

There was his third mistake. Last Christmas, he hadn’t bothered to find out whether Yeosang openly dated men. There were plenty of guys who did gay things on the down low, but still saw themselves as straight, would marry women, and keep the truths of their desires hidden, like a shameful secret. But Hongjoong was proud of who he was. He didn’t want to be anyone’s secret. 

“I’m glad we could meet. I’ve seen you on San’s sns and though you were cute. So I asked him to introduce us,” Wooyoung said. “I’ve only been back in the city for about ten days, so I didn’t expect it to happen this fast, but, uh, here were are.” 

Hongjoong smiled, a sweet smile laced with spice. “So you think I’m cute.” 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung grinned. 

“Just cute,” Hongjoong said. 

“Well, I think you’re more than cute. I think you might be my type.” 

“Oh?” Hongjoong raised both eyebrows, continuing to smile. “And what’s your type?”

“Gorgeous, great smile, big dick. Is that you?”

Hongjoong couldn’t help bursting into laughter. This one was gonna be fun. 

********

After Chanmi called everyone to the dinner table, Hongjoong followed her into the kitchen to help with any last minute table settings. And to give her a piece of his mind. He wasn’t one to let issues simmer overnight. 

“What the hell, Chanmi?” He hissed, the moment they were alone. 

“I know! I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to invite him, but then he asked and it seemed like he really wanted to come and I didn’t want to be rude.”

“And you didn’t tell me because…” 

“I didn’t want you to cancel,“ she pouted, handing him a carafe of water, “I miss you. You’re always working. You haven’t been around that much lately.”

It was true. Hongjoong suppressed his feelings, neglected his friends, by focusing on his career. Music production was a highly competitive field, he told himself. He had to work hard if he was going to make it. But his nights, while busy tapping away at his piano and his computer, were getting lonelier. He missed his friends. 

“Besides, I thought you’d be over it.”

“I am,” Hongjoong agreed. 

Chanmi turned towards him, a bottle of wine in each hand. “Is this too much?”

“Of course not.” 

“What about this new guy? San’s friend.”

“Fresh out of the military, looking for a quick fuck,” Hongjoong said. 

“Please, that’s what they do in the military. When they get out, they want someone who cares. Give him a chance, you might like him.” 

“That’s not usually the problem,” Hongjoong said, glumly. 

“Hey,” she cooed. “Where’s my confident, charismatic, little music genius?”

Hongjoong scowled. “It chips away every time you call me little. Or tiny. Or small. I’m taller than you, in case you hadn’t noticed.” 

“Not in these heels, ” Chanmi smirked, kicking her leg back to show off a silver stiletto. 

“Thanks,” Hongjoong said, turning to leave the kitchen. He wasn’t insecure about his height. It was usually others who pointed it out, insisted it was a defining personality trait, rather than an immutable physical characteristic. 

“Wait, I’m sorry. I’m just teasing. Hongjoong, you know you’re one of my most favourite people on the planet. I just want the whole world to love you as much as Seonghwa and I do.” 

“What?” Seonghwa asked, strolling into the kitchen. He picked up a bowl of japchae. “What do I do?” 

“Tell Hongjoong you love him!” Chanmi insisted. 

“I love you,” Seonghwa said, the words rolling easily off of his tongue as he ruffled Hongjoong’s hair.

“I love you too,” Hongjoong grumbled. “Both of you.” He’d only ever said it to friends and family. Though he pretended otherwise, it wasn’t really that hard to let them know he cared. 

The dinner table was full of delicious dishes and plentiful laughter. Wooyoung blended well as the new guy in the group of friends. He was charming and smiley sitting so close to Hongjoong that their thighs touched under the table. Yeosang, on the other hand, was quiet. He smiled, that serene smile, blinding everyone with his beatific looks, but said little. 

Megan attempted to join the conversation by saying something about how much fun gays are and how she likes to visit gay clubs here. Yeosang visibly cringed. Before Hongjoong could stop himself, he shot out several pointed corrections to her grammar and syntax. To which, Seonghwa responded by kicking him under the table. Rude, Hongjoong thought. 

The conversation stalled before Jongho picked it up again by suggesting that they playing a drinking and singing game after dinner. Yunho and Mingi seconded the idea and everyone began talking about what songs to sing. Hongjoong continued to glare at Seonghwa over the rim of his glass. He drained his drink and set it down on the table. 

“My cup is empty,” he said. “Get me a refill?” 

Seonghwa shook his head almost imperceptibly and reached for the nearest bottle of wine. Finding it empty, he called to Mingi for the other bottle. It too was finished. 

“I’ll get another one from the kitchen,” Seonghwa said, returning Hongjoong’s glare with a pointed stare of his own. 

San laughed. He shook his head and added some sliced beef to Seonghwa’s plate. He knew quite well how these two could bicker or carry on a silent battle for ages until someone gave in.

“I can do it,” Wooyoung offered, flashing Hongjoong another bright smile. 

Wooyoung returned quickly with a new bottle, pouring some into Hongjoong’s glass before offering it around the table. Hongjoong rewarded Wooyoung with a warm thanks, running a hand over his bicep, enjoying the hint of how well muscled his body was from military service. He still wasn’t sure whether he wanted to take Wooyoung home tonight. His body most definitely did. But his heart still wanted it to feel special. 

His eyes drifted from the veins in Wooyoung’s forearm and hand, to focus on the icy stare across the table and two seats down. It seemed that Yeosang disapproved. Hongjoong picked up his wine glass and took a sip. What a pity.

Everyone moved into the living room, settling on chairs, couches, and floor cushions to play along with a game that only Jongho would surely win. Though Hongjoong could be competitive, he knew when not to press his luck. So he chatted with Wooyoung, both of them flirting, asking questions, getting to know each other. Besides, he was feeling a little tipsy and needed to relieve himself. So he left his place at the end of the couch, cornered in by the warmth of Wooyoung’s shoulder and thigh pressing into his, and slipped off to the washroom. 

When he finished, he opened the door to find Yeosang waiting for him. Or the room. Whatever. 

“This guy? Really?” Yeosang growled. 

“This is the first thing you say to me? Really?” Hongjoong retorted. 

“He’s not worth your time,” Yeosang said.

“Look who’s talking! How do you two communicate? Body language?” Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

“I know him. We were roommates in uni. He sleeps with everyone and doesn’t care about anyone.” 

“Again, look who’s talking,”

Yeosang scoffed. “Hey, I cared.” 

“Cared enough to not speak to me for an entire year.”

“It wasn’t like that. I just…”

“Just what? Spent last Christmas in my bed and then disappeared the very next day?”

Yeosang’s eyes drifted to the floor. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

Hongjoong shrugged one shoulder. “It was so long ago. I scarcely remember it.” He walked past Yeosang, but a strong hand caught his arm. 

“I’m sorry. I guess I just hurt myself then.” 

Hongjoong stared at him. How was Yeosang the one hurt? He was the one that left!

“So what do you want from me now? Do you want me to say it’s all okay?” Hongjoong challenged.

“I want you to understand. My family, they have certain expectations of me.” 

Hongjoong remembered Yeosang talking about his wealthy family and the pressure they put on him to live up to their expectations. But he had better things to do than feel sorry for a poor little rich boy who lacked the courage to be honest with him. “I understand that you used me for sex and a shoulder to cry on.” 

“I didn’t use you,” Yeosang insisted. “Everything that happened was real for me. That’s why I couldn’t be around you.” He reached out to stroke Hongjoong’s cheek. “The temptation is too strong.” 

A few months ago, weeks even, Hongjoong might have melted at the touch. But now he felt felt nothing. He didn’t care anymore. Whatever fantasy he’d had last Christmas was gone. Yeosang wasn’t his dream guy. He was just some guy. And he couldn’t give Hongjoong what he wanted, an honest relationship. Hongjoong didn’t have a long list of qualifications. He didn’t care much about looks or money. Yeosang had both and he was miserable, closeted, dating a girl he couldn’t even talk to, desperately trying to be what his family wanted him to be. 

“Then it’s best you continue to keep your distance,” Hongjoong said. 

He walked away without a second glance or second thought, returning to his spot on the sofa, where Wooyoung’s warmth welcomed him back. Maybe Wooyoung was the guy for him. And maybe he wasn’t. The important thing was that he didn’t give up hope that he would meet someone who would make him feel special. 

Hongjoong leaned over and whispered in Wooyoung’s ear. “What if I told you to come home with me tonight?”

Wooyoung grinned and turned to whisper in Hongjoong’s ear. “Then I’d ask if we can leave now.” 

Hongjoong laughed. If nothing else, this was definitely going to be fun. 

They stood up and announced that they were leaving, bidding everyone goodnight and Merry Christmas. Hongjoong tried to ignore the blatantly smug smiles splashed across Sanhwa’s faces. His eyes glossed over Yeosang, completely unmoved by the bone cold look on his face. 

“Hey guys,” Chanmi called, as they zipped their coats and stepped into their shoes. She pointed to something above their heads. There was that damn mistletoe again.

Wooyoung grinned and leaned in, close, closer still, until Hongjoong hooked an arm around his neck and kissed him. Wooyoung opened to him, like a flower in sugared water, kissing him deeply, with lots of tongue. The apartment filled with cheers. 

********

Outside, a light snow was falling. The big, fluffy crystals set Hongjoong’s heart at ease. This moment meant something. Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after that, was beyond his control. So he would enjoy tonight, walking home on freshly fallen snow, with a guy who made him feel like having fun again. 

“It’s this way,” Hongjoong said, leading Wooyoung in the direction of his apartment. “It’s only a few blocks away.” 

Wooyoung smiled. 

It was a look he could definitely get used to.

“So did I mention that amazing kisser is part of my type?”

Hongjoong laughed. He could feel his cheeks flushing a bit from the combination of alcohol and cold, night air. “You didn’t, but I hope I meet that mark.” 

“Oh, you definitely do,” Wooyoung answered. 

Hongjoong’s smile faded. Here this was supposed to be a night of fun, but his thoughts, as usual, drifted into something more serious. He stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to turn, even though there were no cars on the street. 

“So, um, let me ask you something. “

“Sure.”

Hongjoong hesitated to speak, figuring that he might be messing this up. But he’d already brought them here, so he might as well keep going. “I’d like to know if you’re different from my type.”

Wooyoung tossed his head back, a haughty move that made the moonlight catch his profile and cast a gentle glow over his face. “What’s your type?”

“Well, it tends to be guys who like to dine and dash.”

Wooyoung frowned.

“I’m not saying this has to last or turn into something more. I’m just saying that, if it doesn’t, I hope we can still be friends.” 

“And if it does?” Wooyoung asked.

Hongjoong gazed at him, renewed hope in his eyes. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He’d become so hesitant about giving his heart, that he hadn’t bothered to dream of what could happen in things went so very right. It was unlike him, not to dream big. He finally understood what his friends had been trying to tell him. 

“Then next year, we’ll host Christmas dinner,” Hongjoong offered. 

Wooyoung smiled and reached for his hand. “Okay, but I should warn you. I’m a great cook.” 

Hongjoong laughed. “Why is that a warning?”

“Well, they say the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. 

Hongjoong giggled, “well I like my eggs poached.”

“Oh, so you’re a bit of a challenge,” Wooyoung replied.

“Yeah," Hongjoong smiled "but I’m worth it.” 


End file.
